caligynephobia.

i want to meet someone. someone nice. beautiful. fun. and all up someone who i can be myself around.

i see people who interest me. who grab my attention when i'm walking through the streets.
i wish i had the courage to walk up to them. to say just a simple "hello".

that's not "normal" though is it?
how would you react?

i did meet someone not long ago. through a friend. someone who i really took a shining to and have thought about quite often since. it's not the right situation though. perhaps i can make it the right situation? or maybe i will just have to leave it up to patience and time. half a country isn't much but i don't really know this person. and you can't get to know someone via msn or facebook etc.

i'm just going to come out and say this. maybe you read this, maybe you don't.. i don't know, i'm not psychic. however.. i will be in akl this weekend. if you do read this, let's go for coffee [i'm a cliche, i know]. you should know who you are. if you don't read this i am going to text you anyway.

kakorrhaphiophobia- the fear of rejection.
to fear rejection is to live lonely.

i will just leave with these last words:

good things take time.

mad world.

i don't like you.
you've changed.
yes i have to, but i think my change has been for the better.
i find your change sad.
you used to have a much better mind.

moloko and a slovo.

pour a drink.
drink it.
pour a drink.
drink it.
this used to be me.

i'm not saying i don't drink anymore but i just don't really feel the need.
i will have a beer or two with friends, maybe once in a while a long island iced tea.

we can all admit i used to drink a bugger load. but we can all also admit that i fudged up. i wasn't working. i wasn't doing anything productive. all i cared about was socializing.

i would say wellingtons changed me, not the city itself but what i'm doing here. working, studying, meeting new people. it's good for me.
it's also my realization though of how much i was screwing myself up. and my mom.
my appreciation for her has grown immensly.

i'm alot better now. i dont have time to screw up.

hey jude.

i had a dream last night. maybe not a dream but more an idea.

i will need about 4 litres of fluro paint. a uv light. an empty street. 17 people and 16 trikes.

jeans please.

cheap monday customized tour.
http://www.cheapmonday.com/customized/

ugh.

i have the worst cold ever.
i don't get sick often at all, but when i do it's really bad.
however, the show must go on. i have job bags due.
so i'm sitting in class covered in vicks, knocking back the coldral and drinking litres of water.

fun times.